


Where to Touch

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [253]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Multi, Reflection, Scars, Trauma, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: Cas always wants to touch his lovers, all over, every inch, but there are places marked by memories.





	

* * *

Scars are…strange, Cas decides. Strange, strange vortexes of confusion for what are, really, just little spot of replacement skin.

Jimmy had a few scars that still linger. Just little marks, and Cas doesn’t really know or care where they all came from, but none seem particularly traumatic. He has none of his own, of course, because he’s an angel, and angels heal. His body looks just as it did the day Jimmy gave it to him.

Sam and Dean, though, they have plenty of scars. And some seem to just be marks on their skin, raised, silvery or pink lines, remnants of injuries. Cas knows where some came from, the Winchesters having been a point of interest for angel kind since their births. Dean has one on his thigh from a car accident, Sam has one on his shoulder from a glass bottle in a fight. They have dozens, littering their skin, the daily collections of hunters doing their duty.

And then there are the other ones. The ones Cas is not supposed to touch, to talk about, to even slightly acknowledge. The one at the base of Sam’s spine, or the one cutting across Dean’s stomach. He healed a great deal of Dean’s older ones when he raised him from hell, but life only, apparently, sought to give him more, and worse. He and Sam are a matching set in that regard. 

The marks on skin pile up with the marks on the mind, many of the burdens placed on the brothers reflected on their skin.

But it’s worse where the marks aren’t, where a healing or being dragged back from the dead has erased a scar that should be there. Because, Cas has learned, just because the physical mark is gone doesn’t mean the mental one is, and the mental is heavily linked to the physical for these two. There are spots on the Winchesters’ skin that are clear as any other, but nonetheless should not be touched, under any circumstances, just the same as Cas avoids the scars that they don’t like.

It’s difficult, because their bodies are mindfields of physical, lingering pains and more mental, lasting memories that they can’t shake. Some days, Cas just wants to touch the men he loves, get his hands all over them, know every inch of their skin.

But it will never work that way, and Cas is okay with that. He learns where he can’t touch, and where he can, and where he most definitely _should_  touch, and focuses on that. 


End file.
